New at the Guardian Work Force
by Evil Pink Bumblebee
Summary: A young birdlike man with no face and a very hard-to-pronounce name needs a job. He decides to become a Guardian Force.


"Er, hey, excuse me, Miss Shiva."  
  
The blue-skinned, bikini-wearing woman stopped brushing her frozen hair and stared into my face. Well, not really my face, but the part of my body where most people would expect a face to be. Anyway, she stared into my shiny golden head and sounds floated out of her purple lips.  
  
"Yes, what do you want?"  
  
I ducked a little, for I was so afraid of meeting someone so famous and so pretty on my first day of work. It also took me a little while to answer her question, or even to realize that a question had been asked. I must have been too busy wondering why someone so cold would wear so little.  
  
"Oh," I finally replied. "I think that I need a job, and if you could maybe give me one, as a person, for this place, and stuff, you know, I would be glad?"  
  
"Hmm," Shiva said and sat in her little chair thoughtfully. "Well, I'm sorry, but we do-"  
  
Suddenly, at that moment, a large, muscular, dark-skinned, hairy, mostly naked, and horny man rushed into the room.  
  
"Hey Shiva!" this man called. "Look what I got!" Then, he ran up behind the beauty and removed her bikini.  
  
"Oh, Ifrit, you rascal!" Shiva turned around facing the fire-breathing freak. "Why do you keep stealing my clothes?"  
  
Ifrit smiled and snickered with smoke. "Hey, is it just me, or do you get more and more sexy the less clothes you have on?"  
  
"Oh, yes," Shiva giggled playfully. "I think I'll stay like this even in battle!"  
  
"Yeah, baby!" Ifrit shouted, then suddenly, he stood perfectly straight and stared at one of the GF Center's walls. His mouth hung open for a second, and then his entire body went back to normal. He began to grumble. "I hate when I'm called to duty! Well, toots, looks like I gotta go do the whole smashing-flaming-rocks-onto-lizards deal. See you!"  
  
Then he smashed through the floor.  
  
Shiva leaned down the hole he left and screamed "Use the designated exit, you slob!"  
  
"Um," I muttered, feeling awfully uncomfortable after watching the odd event that had just taken place. "I still want a job, you know."  
  
"Yeah?" Shiva said while she turned back towards me. "Well, too bad, loser! We already have a stinking lightning and thunder mystical magic man! His name is Ramuh! Now get out!"  
  
"Oh," I replied, feeling incredibly unhappy over having come all the way to the GF Center from my house in the suburbs just to get turned down. "Well, uh, my name is Quetzacotl, maybe you can give me a call if you get an opening, or something."  
  
"Just leave, Quirkysnotnose"  
  
"Sure, I will, in fact, I'm going."  
  
I don't know why I didn't rush quickly out of there right then. It would have been an easy way to escape the embarassment and discomfort. Maybe it was because Shiva still hadn't replaced her bikini. From the looks of it, she didn't intend to do it anytime soon. I slowly began to turn around and leave.  
  
Just before I made it out of the door though, an extremely elderly old man burst through another door, stopping me in my tracks.  
  
"Heavens!" he shouted. "I do believe I am perishing due to the wily ways of the fiend known as natural causes!"  
  
"Ramuh?" asked Shiva. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Oh, don't be silly, young whippersnapper! It's probably just my arthiritis acting up again!"  
  
"Are you sure? You don't look okay!"  
  
"OH!" Ramuh shouted at the top of his lungs. "Sonny boy, I long for you! Come here, and I will gaze upon your face!"  
  
It took me a while to realize he was talking to me. I hovered over to him. He gazed upon my lack of a face.  
  
"Oh," he began. "You young boy, my time is short, and when I am gone, I want you to buy yourself a nice tuxedo and take my place! Fight, sonny boy, fight!"  
  
"Erm," I stuttered, thinking that this old man's last utterances would probably fall on my hearing devices. "I will, Ramuh. I will."  
  
"You always were a good young boy! I remember the time we fought the fish beasts off with only the steamboat? Oh, what happy days! And they're here again!"  
  
"Ramuh, sir," Shiva tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"Oh! Deborah! I haven't seen you in ages! So good to see you again! How's your husband doing? And the kids?"  
  
"Mr. Ramuh," Shiva stated. "I think you've gone senile."  
  
"I may be senile, but I still got the bananas!" Ramuh exclaimed, as a liquid stain began to form at the crotch portion of his robe.  
  
"Time for the GF Nursing Home to be founded, I guess," sighed Shiva. She then turned her attention away from Ramuh and onto me. "Well, Mr. Kinkycoatrack, I guess you've got a new job as a GF."  
  
"Really?" I responded.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Wow!" I didn't know what to say. All I could say was "Wow!" over and over again. Nothing but "Wow!" escaped my lips for the next few minutes. "Wow!" was the only sound I could make. I just kept saying "Wow!" Eventually, though, the icy woman calmed me down and took me off to begin my training. 


End file.
